saved

living alone a heart totally engrossed without a single hesitation
having no longer use for a body
living without the wealth of carrying a burden
light enough as to be blown away like the dust

dust left by a shattered body
holding onto the lifeless corpse
and hoping that breath will never come back
living as if you never could care again

throwing away what is left to make room
everything is so tense
you start to feel relaxed
the world is spinning so fast, you can finally rest

rest in peace we say
so as to erase the memory of what death truly is
may you live long and be merry
whispered through the clenched teeth of the executioner

the daughter of all nations must be put to death
by a father that would die for her
how long must she wait till the blade falls
when will she be saved

when will she be saved

deceiving fear

i told you my fear
you promised it wasn't true
i believed you for a while
until the truth was hiding

unseen yet felt
a simple mocking glance
it gave away the whole look
the heart behind the words could not be hidden

the day will come
when the truth will not be flattery
when the glance will no longer be a glance
but a disdainful stare

look hard and find out where it was left
look far and know that the distance traveled was hard
and the trust was misplaced in the end
given over to a day when words were plentiful and often wasted

my fear was seen
in the end it must not be shown for the truth that lies behind it
but the good that will never come of the deceit
in the end the truth is not a pet to be manipulated

past of darkness

ask the questions that have no right answer
kill every day that has a sunrise
and hope that in the end the darkness will forget past sins

the night remembers
the darkness refuses to let go
but will turn its back on all that is dear

it hates the love that draws it back
it loves the hate that kills the emotion
this fading love gives breath to a new life

the light of shadows

gray skies light the night
the light never increases
the shadows are fading
the light is bright

yet we can't see
the day grows stronger
we love the weakness of the night
the hope is before us

the day is behind us
the night closes in
yet the light never fades
the shadows are barely here now

and yet we talk to them
we ask why they are here
we ask why they want to leave
we don't want them to go

the must leave
but it is day
and they are strong when they leave
we want them to stay and let us forget they left

we want the gray light
we want to touch it
and feel its freezing glow
we love the light that causes the shadows

we love them
the shadows that leave
their pain is felt when they leave
we despise everything they are

we deserve the light

a silent prayer

rest dear child and know that the morning will blossom
soon all will be forgotten
a past to be left behind
those who are no longer here will no longer trouble you
rest

a soldier's letter - betrayed

hold me back
so you can move on
keep me here
until you're gone

don't leave me here
you begged before
and then you leave
and don't glance back

to hell i returned
and you leave for a haven
a place seen in a dream

but i am happy for you

you belong in a place where no one knows you
no one cares
you can live a new life
and pretend this never happened

silent death

the door closed
the reason unknown
guessing, never knowing what to think
hoping that it will be alright

its not alright not right now
you torture me with every little secret
you try to protect me
but you kill me instead

mysterious reasons are tearing us apart
you and me
you can't see it
but its happening none the less

if i knew why, i wouldn't hate it
well i hate it already
i can't think
don't know what to say

i but still i speak none the less
and i always say too much
i speak for two
you won't speak to me

i must speak or we will fade into nothing

passgae of night

a passage leads to the place
sorrow and despair are the companions of choice
a tunnel of the night
before we find the light

a long awaited trial
a growth long foreseen
the day that grows ever brighter
as we close those heavenly seems

the night will try its hardest
to keep us in its grasp
the light is ever blinding
we pray that the pain won’t last

the pain is part of the day
it is brought on by the night
the way of a broken heart
will draw the bond more tight

the way was is closed
the passage is shut
the path is more than we can handle
we must wait until the night is done

in the day we will see the truth
when we aren’t blinded by the cloud of tonight

Unavoidable

how long did it last
we prolonged the death
a death that was needed
a life may spring forth

the hated choice
loved by few
needed for all
never seemed so sweet

where will it lead
no one knows
but i will find the end
if you are there that will make it worth it

if if you are not there then it is better this way
either way this death
this death of self
has life in it

the death has happened
life may come
grasp what you have got and hold firmly on
never let go

the fall is worse then everything else
hold on to what is left
never look back and regret
a death that may be killing all we know

a death that is all we need
a life come to us
we may suffocate
then there will no longer be us

there will be you
i will be there
you will be here
life will go on

and pray that it has not been ruined
we must live tomorrow
and forget that yesterday was easier
this is best

it is not over it may be done
but life is best this way
in the end no matter what happens
we will be better for it

don't let it end unless it must

conflict within

what is this emotion
why has it come
what is it about
how long will it stay

what do you want
what are you looking for
where will you lodge
my heart is heavy enough


i want nothing you have
i need something you can't give
i have always been here
unknown under it all


you say you have been here all along
you say i can't give you what you seek
then why didn't i know you
and why are with me


you knew me all along
you didn't know where i came from
i've been here since before you knew me
i'm looking for something more then you


what is more then me
how could i know you and yet you be unknown
the weight in my heart is bad enough
can't you leave me alone


i'm here and you knew how i affected you
you feel the emptiness of my weight
you say there is no more room for me
i am the room in here


you are the room
you are the depth of my soul
you are the weight
you are my curse


must i live with you forever


you were born with me
you might die with me
you lift my weight for a brief moment
but i come back heavier and stronger

who are you

i am the only thing you can't get rid of by yourself

The Waiting Void

the cold depth
the ache of a thousand cries
the silencing shudder
the stillness that burns

the strength that is lost
the void that is found
the fire that freezes your heart
till it feels like its going to burst

insanity looms around the corner
reality is lost on deaf ears
the last thread
slowly dragged across the knife

the simplicity is alarming
the subtleness is captivating
the beauty is revolting
while no one watches through the open glass

The Ending Masquerade

cut yourself with the hard truth
hang yourself from your own lies
suffocate yourself with your own pride
and reassure yourself all will be fine when day breaks

reality no longer needs to be faced by you
the life you disguise
and hide with the pretty face that tells the lies

you hate that which you can't explain
your death is slow
it no longer hides the pain
you can't explain what you hate

Lost Innocence

i didn't realize where this was heading till it was too late
what is done isn't gone
the light in your eyes
they leave me terrified

what can be done
what has been done
the day is closing fast

i wish things were the way they used to be
the innocence is gone
when will we face the truth
you and i
the light no longer bright
darkness so much closer

what have i done
what have i wished to do
its too late

life, fleeting
no longer has a purpose
we must live for that reason
this attempt at existence is more then we can take

we must act
we act as we must
nothing can be done

we have lost the ignorance
what is knowledge
the door of life has killed us both
no longer is there a reason for us to pretend